my body image revelations

Like the majority of women in the world, I've had my fair share of struggles with body image and related self-esteem issues. While I am very much not perfect at being positive and confident in myself, there are two things I've learned along the way that I want to get down in writing. These thoughts aren't revolutionary, but they have been revelations to me—especially as I've let them sink into my daily mentality.

1. Society's standards of beauty are arbitrary and meaningless.

The things we perceive as beautiful or attractive are defined by a society that's largely concerned with making money; in order for companies to sell us their products, we have to believe that we need them. If we didn't admire tan skin, self-tanning lotions wouldn't exist. If we didn't admire flat stomachs, then tummy-flattening stockings wouldn't be a thing. Some even say that we admire those traits because of advertising campaigns!

Making myself understand that beauty ideals REALLY ARE SILLY has been difficult. If I feel that something would make me attractive, doesn't that make it so? Maybe. But if I've just been fed those sentiments my whole life by the world around me, what does that say about the ideals?

In the USA, most people would agree that being thin is considered an "attractive" quality for a woman. However, in Mauritania, a country in West Africa, young girls are fed extremely high-calorie diets before their weddings, because being overweight and having stretch marks are considered attractive traits.

Here's another one. Most people in the USA think that smooth, unblemished skin is beautiful. But for members of the Karo tribe in Ethiopia, that's not the case.

Women intentionally cut their skin to give themselves scars, because the scars are considered beautiful.

Many Americans also feel that tan skin makes a person more attractive. But in Hong Kong, Malaysia, the Philippines, South Korea, and Taiwan, it's estimated that 40 percent of women use a whitening cream to lighten their skin, because pale skin is beautiful.

An ad for self tanning lotion.

...and an ad for skin whitening cream.

Isn't that dichotomy crazy to think about?

My point in drawing these contrasts is not to suggest that some ideals of beauty make sense or that others are weird; it's to show that NONE of these ideals is founded in absolute truth or fact. If we base our feelings of self worth on how we measure up to ideals that don't mean anything, won't that always lead to unhappiness?

2. Your appearance doesn't define you as a person.

I know many people don't agree with me religiously, but I believe that another huge factor in this mess is Satan. He's been denied the incredible opportunity to have a physical body, so he has devised a cunning plan to make us hate that very gift. He has molded our society to place way too much importance on physical appearance. The shape of our arms and the curve of our hips shouldn't have any bearing on who we are as people, yet we let things like that influence us greatly. We have worth because we have immortal souls; we have worth because we're daughters (and sons) of a loving deity. Nothing can change that worth—not our perceived level of beauty (or our "real" level of beauty, whatever that means), not our weight, not our achievements, our careers, or anything else.

Rather than obsess about my outward appearance and how I compare to worldly ideals, I've been trying to focus on my divine potential and worth.

I found this quote and framed it to have on my dresser. It reminds me that real beauty isn't about looking a certain way. It's about honoring your real (heavenly) heritage, being kind, and finding joy. If you have those positive things going on inside, you will emanate real beauty.

Like I said before, I'm far from perfect when it comes to incorporating these revelations in my life, but I try to be better about it every day! I have a feeling it'll be a life-long process...